This life is Yours and hope is rising

Wow. So 2009 is done... I can't actually believe that considering I still feel like it's August. There has been a lot that has happened and changed, yet not much at the same time. When 2009 started, I had a thing going with Josh. I was going to church, but was lost as far as what I was doing with myself. In April, I told James I didn't have feelings for him anymore. That happened to be the day before Jacob Chey Manginelli was born. All six pounds of him (: Scot Mortimer, BFL, also got married on the 18th of that month. Heidi got married in May and a week later, so did Annie and Justin. Apparently I was wrong, because James and I started dating again a little after that :D Not a whole lot happened over the summer. I struggled with myself some more and still felt lost in a sense, but I guess I wasn't doing much about it. I went to JC as a leader for the first time in August. A week prior to that, I signed on to The Internship with MC4. I think I had some expectations, but overall I wasn't sure what was going to happen with it. While it hasn't been the experience I had imagined so far, it's taken me through an amazing journey with God. It also brought me to Montana. I found so much of myself on that YWAM base... So much that wanted to come out. I had some realizations about my future and how I hear from God and had literally one of the best weeks of my life. I found out that my deja vus are not just coincidences, but from God. He answered my prayers about wanting to paint and paved the road for me to end up doing so at the end of that week. I remember so much of that experience; so much of those six days. The car rides, the first night there, the first morning, seeing Annie and Justin, finding Megan and Addie, worshipping, talking, forging bonds and making friends. If nothing else came from that time, I left with a deep ache in my heart to go on my DTS. I miss that base so much. I miss the people, the worship, the lectures, the relationships... I miss everything about it. I can't wait to be back there one day if that's where God calls me (: Back in September, Jon left for basic training. Two days after Jacob's birthday, five days before mine and the same day I started The Internship, I had to say goodbye to my little brother. He graduated in November and it was such a privilage to be there for it all. The graduation was breath taking-- to watch all of those poised and regimented friends and family march into the building was such a sight. I can't believe an entire year has already gone by... I can't believe that milestones are happening this year and that things will be changing forever. As I sat in the chair and my grandma's just relaxing, it hit me that it was my last normal Christmas I'll ever have. Last year was truly the final 'normal' Christmas for us, because we're now on the schedule of picking Jon up for leave and having to ship him back. Next Christmas, I don't know if he'll be home... I do know that I won't, though. I'll be in Australia. I have a lot to look forward to in this year and a lot to figure out and do for myself. I just need to come back to God and dig in with Him.