Tashie, the things you find and say always amaze me and tonight was no different!
Faith in Jesus:
the leaning of your entire human personality on Him in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdowm and goodness.
Colossians 1:4-5 (Amplified Bible)
Completely incredible. I mean, think about that! Leaning your entirety on Him. Absolutely trusting in His power and His wisdom and His goodness. What a life that would be. What a friendship and what a love.
That wasn't even where I was going to go with this tonight... lol But I came across that and just had to keep it, love it and comment on it.
Where I was originally going with this was my amazement for people and their perceptions of me as well as their relationships with me. It sounds silly, but there's a little cartoon picture that's been going around on Facebook. They're cute little creatures and they all have labels.. Things like "Stylish, gangster, the tower, the jock, drama queen, princess, etc." Well, one of the ones on there is "Good little church girl". I've been tagged by friends on this picture three times so far and two of them gave me that label. It made me think... I remember the first time I saw that from Janine and I was actually quite surprised. I've never considered myself the good little church girl before; there's actually quite a few people I would list before me as well. Then Amanda Schumacher tagged me as the same thing-- once agan surprising me. I'm actually pretty flattered that I get that label and tag. It's funny because when I saw them both, I immediately thought of all the things that could disqualify me from that title; drinking habits from last year, attitudes, snarky-ness, the ability to be harsh, crude and rude. Then I was stopped and it occured to me that, Janine especially recently, knows about all of those things and still picked me. Amanda's known me for at least a good five and a half years, so she absolutely knows about the the end of that list. They've both seen me at my worst, but that is obviously not who they see now. I am SO glad that it's not.
Speaking of, Brian McMahon said something similar. This past Wednesday at The Young, we were told about next week being the split off. Junior high in one room, senior high in another and it'd be a time to talk about thing relevant and appropriate to the ages. We'll be splitting off into small groups at some point as well. Brian had asked leaders to think about coming over to the JH. He said he knows that people are automatically drawn to the high schoolers because they know that God is going to be there, but asked to be considering it. After the night was over, I was sitting in the sound booth sorting out Identity, Prayer and The Young cards. Brian came and asked me specifically if I would come over, I told him that, for now, that seemed like a good idea. He started talking about how proud he was to be seeing me grow; that everyone could see it, especially in the past six months. In that second, I flashed back to when six months would have been... August. The end of my partying and drinking. The beginning of this whole new journey I've been trying to get on to for years. Camp was in the beginning of that month and I was called out quite a few times. I remember Phil's better than anyone else's, though: "You need to step it up. This is the life you should be living, not the one you have been. I want you to be a leader and I see big things for you, but you need to get it together" was the gist of it. That's stuck with me since. So, to hear that they can actually see me changing was such a huge encouragement and I honestly don't think I've stopped smiling about it since.
I love where I'm headed. I absolutely love who I am right now and even more so who I'm becoming.
Funny thing, all of this is a digression of what I actually had wanted to say (: I'm good at that.
SO! The thought occurred to me today that people feel oddly comfortable with me. Like, people that don't like to open up, people who like to stay closed off, hardened people who shut the world out, let me in and find comfort in who I am. By no means could I even take credit for this... It's all God, but I just couldn't help but notice how true that actually is. Like Josh, for example. He has a tight group of good friends-- there's probably about ten or fifteen including some family members. He's lost faith in the human race and I can't even come close to blaming him for it. He's mentioned before how little he trusts girls/females/women whatever you want to call us ((lol)). He's said how hard it is. Yet he's also said that I'm one of the few girls he feels comfortable with and can trust and be open with and just be chill. Tookie... It actually surprised me today to read her Myspace survey that said she's closed off and guarded to people because I don't ever remember having a problem getting to know her or getting close to her or having her let me in. Come to think of it, I can't exactly think of many people that have been all that closed off to me. I just think it's funny. Not funny ha ha, obviously, but funny in an odd way that makes me wonder and leaves me in awe. I love that people feel okay with me and being open with me and sharing. I don't know exactly what it is that makes peoplet trust me, I don't have any idea why they feel so comfortable, but I am so beyond grateful for it.
Random things popping in my head:
"Glory to You in the highest place"
"You don't owe anything to this world; you are free. God wants to be your best friend."
"I'll remember Your unfailing love and that is why I'm not consumed and your compassions never fail, oh they are constantly renewed and I say You are my portion, therefore I will wait on You, Lord."
"All of my life, in every season, you are still God... I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."
"My Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save. Forever the author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave."
"So, shine your light and let the whole world see we're singin' for the glory of the risen King."
"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned. In awe of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is Yours."
"Shout out His name and He will run to you"
"I have found a strength that stands like a mountain. I have found a love that lights up every room."
Glory to You in the highest, Jesus.
Thank you (:
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